Published by Barbara Markway, Ph.D. in Living the Questions
Feelings always make sense, if you understand them fully. Unfortunately, couples can experience conflict when dealing with feelings. Partners don’t understand each other, distort each other’s motives, or disengage and withdraw. Here are some tips to help you get past the distortions and feel close again.
Know Your Feared Feelings
It’s natural to have certain feelings that take more work to understand, and may even be a little threatening. Take Jan, for example. Jan feels angry at Jim, but she’s fearful of her own Watch for Filters of Past Experience
Everyone processes feelings through the filters of past experience. For example, if you received hurt and criticism as a child, you may be unable to allow yourself any feelings that you perceive as risky – those that might force you to experience criticism or rejection again. Or, you may feel extremely vulnerable to the slightest complaint from your partner. If these feeling-filters aren’t clear– and they aren’t to most people – the nature and intensity of your reactions can be a mystery, both to yourself and your partner.
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Published by Barbara Markway, Ph.D. in Living the Questions Feelings always make sense, if you understand them fully. Un...